Q: What are some things that are supposed to help a person reach their goals, but can actually hurt their chances of success?
A: From the perspective of a life coach I’m going to have to say advice. What? Advice! “Isn’t that what life coaching is?!”, one may ask. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you didn’t know what to do. Now this is a case where you’ve tried everything under the sun, and NOTHING has worked! So, you turn your friend for advice. She tells you “you have to do this!” then you respond “no, that won’t work”. The friend may continue to explain why her idea is great, but you know deep down no matter how much she tries to sell you on this idea it won’t work. So, you turn to the next person and it’s the same story. How can we effectively help people out? We have to trust that they have the answer within them. We can ask them questions from a place of curiosity to help them organize their mind. When a person can organize their thoughts it gives them the freedom to ground themselves and know what’s best for them. Here’s an example:
Person A: Dad, what should I major in, in college next year? I’m so overwhelmed thinking about it.
Dad: Well, what have you found to be interesting?
Son: I like the arts tracks they seem really fun and that there’s so much I could learn. We all know though that it’s best to be a doctor or lawyer, though. So maybe I should just go for one of those.
Dad: Would you enjoy being a doctor or lawyer?
Son: No.
Dad: *Laughs* I didn’t think so. What could you see yourself accomplishing with the arts track?
Son: hmm maybe I could draw animation for movies I’ve secretly always wanted to do that!
Dad: I think that sounds great! You love it and you should go for it! I fully support you in this!
Q: What are some common misconceptions your clients have about making changes in their lives?
A: This question is easy! They believe they can’t. What I wish people take the time to teach and learn about it is how powerful our brain is. The way we think really shapes how our reality plays out. For ex. two young boys are riding bikes and fall down. One says “woah! I shouldn’t have turned so sharply” and gets back up. The other boy experiences shock and anxiety. He can’t see the reality that if he turned less sharp he wouldn’t have fell. He sees bike riding as something dangerous that if he does again he will automatically fall. He may even blame himself that he’s just bad at bike riding. How could it be that two people go through the same situation yet have two completely different experiences? Well, that stems from personality and development, but what I want to point out is one said “I can” and the other “I can’t”.
Q: What is the one piece of advice you can give to someone who knows they need change in their life, but they just don’t know where to start?
A: If the person doesn’t know where to start I would say to contact a coach. Preferably one who offers a free consultation of some sort. You don’t need to sign up for a session, but this way you’ll be able to bounce ideas off the coach and hopefully get a clearer idea where to start. Many coaches including myself will offer this!
To learn more please visit:
Chanimehlman.wix.com/lifecoaching
