Newly married, Ralynne Riggs was shocked to find out her husband was using pornography. Devastated, she thought it had something to do with her. “Why wasn’t I enough?” she wondered. For the next several years, Ralynne worked on supporting her husband’s addiction recovery while unknowingly being subjected to his lies and verbal abuse. “I was asked multiple times over the years by ecclesiastical leaders and therapists to hold on a little bit longer while he got help. Meanwhile, I was being emotionally abused,” said Ralynne. In fact, during his multiple failed attempts at recovery she dove deeper and deeper into her own depression, even losing her job. Every word to the song “Anything Worth Holding On To” by Scott Alan resonated with her during her darkest times. She related the words, “When there’s nothing left inside of you is there anything worth holding on to?”
This week she teamed with one of her greatest recovery resources – Betrayal Trauma Recovery (BTR.org). Together, they just released her cover of Alan’s song on the Betrayal Trauma Recovery YouTube channel.
Ralynne was originally referred to BTR by her sexual trauma therapist and immediately felt validated when she heard their podcast. The BTR podcast is in the top 10 percent podcasts, with their resources reaching more than 1.7 million women.
The professional BTR coaches have helped hundreds of clients, and they note that victims don’t always know what they are dealing with. Anne Blythe, founder of BTR, says, “They usually don’t know they are being emotionally abused.” Ralynne can attest to this fact, “It didn’t register in my mind that anything had been done to me personally.”
Ralynne hopes in sharing her story through this music video that women will realize they don’t have to endure abuse as they “wait” for their husband to change. They can gain confidence and set boundaries with the help of Betrayal Trauma Recovery.
BTR coaches and Ralynne know all too well that the addict’s problems severely affect those closest to them, but they don’t have to. “No matter how many times I tried to save our marriage, I was powerless. I had to learn that his actions were separate from mine. Nothing to do with me, it was all his choices and his actions and his consequences,” said Ralynne. Because of BTR’s support, and growing in her own confidence she learned, “you can do anything if you just do it. Feeling safe and happy is within reach even within the most difficult times.”
Ralynne has been singing her heart out since the moment she could form her first words, but has officially been a professional singer for 10 years. Currently she is traveling the world singing on cruises.
Betrayal Trauma Recovery (BTR.org) is dedicated to providing immediate emotional relief from the chaos and pain caused by a husband’s emotional abuse: lying, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, etc.