Warren: Yeah it’s a really critical part of the book. Even though its only chapter 2 of the book, it is something we have to pay attention to all the time. Paying attention to internal dialog is incredibly important because if you’re not observing it, it will run its own course. Internal dialog will run its own course unless you start redirecting it, but first paying attention to it is what’s required to even become aware of it and then change it.
Joshua: So what are some of the ways that we can start to pay attention and control that a little bit more? I know sometimes it seems that your mind is raging in your head and it’s really hard to stop that conversation.
Warren: Well, taking that third person kind of perceptive is the way I talk to some of my clients about it. It’s often when we don’t take that third person perspective and spend time actually listening, we often think that we get caught up with internal dialog that’s going on in our head, the voice that’s there, and if we’re not paying attention to it we assume it’s us. For example, if there is negative dialogue that you got about your business or there is negative idea in your head that you got about yourself, we always have a choice of whether we agree or disagree about something our mind has to say. That’s something I work with with my addiction clients all the time is that the average mind says one thing but we can interpret it another way. Let’s say its alcohol and I want to drink. We always have the option to agreeing or disagreeing with that voice. Sky diving is a great example of that, nobody that is jumping out of a plane doesn’t have a voice that is saying, “Don’t jump out of the plane!” So, at that time we have to ignore the voice. That’s just an example to how we can agree or disagree with internal dialogue.
Joshua: One of the concepts I love too in the book is where you talk about talking to yourself the way you would talk to a loved one. Can you tell us a little bit more about that concept?
Warren: Yes, so this is where we’re starting to install the dialogue that we want, at least what we know is far more valuable to us than whatever that might have preceded it. So when we talk to ourselves as though we’re talking to a loved one we now put in a perspective that we’re going to love ourselves and we’re going to treat ourselves in a way that is realistic rather than unrealistic. When we talk to loved ones we don’t talk to loved ones to beat them down. Sometimes our mind will talk to us in a way that it’s trying to beat us down so that we then do the opposite. But that’s something we’d never do with a loved one. You don’t tell a loved one how horrible they are in hopes that they disagree with us.
Joshua: That’s true. It’s funny how crazy we are with our selves but can be so gentle and loving with other people right?
Warren: Exactly, yeah.
Joshua: Yeah, I love that. I think it’s such a powerful and easy way to start to control the conversation, which is to have that third party perspective speaking to yourself like a loved one. So after that comes meditation, which I know you touched on briefly, but why is this the next phase in the process and how do we do this?
Warren: Well, the reason why it’s in there is meditation as a practice is a great way just to speak to how these all fit together. When we meditate we get a much greater ability to identify internal dialogue that as we spend more time in meditation the difference between that voice in our head, or stillness becomes more and more apparent. So, one of the reasons why meditation provides so much benefit is that you’re not locked into as merely a high level of what the internal dialogue might be. So we begin to talk about this process of meditation that I use and teach with basically all of my clients, which is sort of a combination of the classical forms of meditation and then some of the more newer age hypnotic options which is paying attention to the breath and also what we refer to as progressive relaxation, which is taking a more active role. Traditional style of meditation is to try and sort of sit still and hope that you are going to achieve enlightenment slowly.
Joshua: Good luck on that one.
Warren: Yeah, so with using this kind of a heavy body technique we’re pushing the process forward a little bit and actually paying attention to different parts of the body. I usually work from top to bottom. I’ve had a couple clients who’ve come back and told me they work from bottom to top. There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with that.
Joshua: When you say top to bottom, you just mean putting specific focus and emphasis on those areas? Or just putting attention on those areas as you’re meditating? Is that what you’re saying?
Warren: Exactly, working from the top of the head, down through the body and really doing it in a slow way. So, the transition from your eyelids right to your nose and then your nose to your chin. What many people will do unintentionally is they’ll think I want to relax my head, and that’s actually too broad to narrow it down to eyelids. Then move to the nose then lips then ears. When you make it far more precise it allows us to actually have more of a sensation of the change. Because when you pay attention to relaxing those areas, you actually become more aware of the changes that are occurring, and that’s what helps in hypnosis. The benefits are well documented now. We’re seeing this more and more regularly now that organizations like Heart and Stroke are telling us about the benefits if meditation. It’s been around for thousands of years. Now they are getting more science behind it.
