Debe Bloom | Integrating Confidence Coaching Into The Business World

“Yes, you can still be sarcastic, however in certain situations, you might want to reign that in because that would affect how I perceive you.” So that was another great assignment that you suggested in there, as well as—shoot, there was one more that you said, and now I can’t remember it.

But that’s okay. We’ve got two really strong ones that right now, when we’re done with the call, the listeners can go and perform them on their own to get a better feeling for themselves as well as for the service or the product that they provide.

So moving on, do you find that there are any common misconceptions people in general have when dealing with a confidence coach or a life coach, or a coach in general, that if you were to approach them and you present yourself as a coach, that you kind of get a weird look or a snicker? What is the misconception that would bring about that type of a response when you tell people what it is that you do?

Debe: I think a lot of people—well first off, the coaching industry has changed drastically as far as the public looking at us coaches. There are coaches with niches that drill down so tight and specialize in certain areas, that really they’re experts on what they do. I don’t believe that there is a myth about a coach.

Maybe perhaps there are some people that believe that they can solve all their own problems, all by themselves, and just lickety-split go forward and all is good. And maybe there are a handful of people that can do that. But really, when you think about it, if you were to have conversations with close friends, I call them my 2:00 AM girlfriends.

Those are the friends that I can roll my sleeves up with and really talk very frankly at whatever the subject is. And most of those conversations are all personal relationship-based kind of conversations. When you start talking them out, they are emotionally tied to the outcome. And yet, it feels really good to be able to voice what’s going on in your life, and you may or not get anything out of it other than venting.

When you deal with a coach, a coach is not attached to the outcome. So their whole goal is all about the client. It’s all about making sure that what the client came in to see them about gets solved. So the questions that are asked by a coach are thought-provoking. They’re usually deeper than when you have a conversation with that “2:00 AM girlfriend.”

Deeper because they’re drilling down. And the explosion of excitement of learning, of who you are without the cup of tea in your hand, if you will, without that girlfriend, without the girlfriend knowing the other side of the coin, the other side of the coin maybe if you’re talking about a relationship, who that other person may be, or your family history or whatever.

Coaches, when you get coached, it’s very professional, and it’s all about the subject matter at hand. There’s no tentacles outside of that main question of why you come in to see a coach. So if you have problems—one of my clients popped up into my head right now. She wanted to dance. She wanted to create a dancing school, if you will.

She wanted to teach dance. She was having problems at home. Her husband said “No way.” And it was holding her back in developing who she was. And we worked it out. She was a client of mine for several months, and right now, she’s got a thriving dancing business, and she is fulfilled. And her husband is very proud of her.

So it was just a matter of figuring out how to drill down what does she really want, how important it was and being able to produce it to her husband in the right way. And we accomplished that.

So it is—she couldn’t have gone to a girlfriend and had the same kind of—gosh, I’m going to use a phrase—down and dirty conversation that she and I had, because we were after a single goal, and that was for her to have a dancing school. Her girlfriend may have been concerned about how the husband would feel. That wasn’t my issue.

Jeannine: Right.

Debe: My issue was getting her dancing school going. And that happened. So does that make sense?

Jeannine: Yeah, that’s—thank you for utilizing one of your past clients in example. That’s good because it kind of reiterates that the, as you stated, the misconception is that maybe “I don’t need you. I don’t need a coach. I’ve got my girlfriends. I’ve got my other people that I can go to and sit and talk with them. So I don’t need the assistance of a coach.”

But what you’re clarifying is, is that you might not. Maybe you are good enough with the people that surround you, whereas a coach is someone, like you said, who is not emotionally attached. They don’t know all sides of the story. Their only concern is you and helping you to achieve the goal that you have put forth.

I’m also going to go out on a limb and assume that if in talking with me, you begin to recognize that there are certain qualities that I have that you might also guide someone into really clarifying that even though my goal is to have a dance studio, upon talking with you, maybe that really wasn’t my goal after all. You know what I’m saying?

Debe: Absolutely.

Jeannine: You might recognize, through coaching, that the only reason why you want to be opening a dance school is because your great-grandmother, who had to take care of you when your parents were in the hospital after a horrible accident, she was all into dance. So it’s kind of like your homage to her.

Jeannine Barcarse

Jeannine Barcarse is an entrepreneur, business owner, and author. She is an independent contributing reporter to Business Innovators Magazine & Show Host on Business Innovators Radio showcasing trusted leaders in business and entrepreneurship.