Shawn LaRé: Yes, I would do that sometimes. I would serve them and have dinner.
You can learn a lot about people (families) by observing them in their habitat. So, rather than go to their house, I have them come to my house but make it a very natural and comfortable atmosphere, a homey environment. I would have some sessions in the living room and in the back yard as well.
Lisa C. Williams: “So, with regard to all the anguish caused by sexual trauma from violence, how you can help someone?”
Shawn LaRé Brinkley: I first, of course, get to know my clients by establishing rapport. Of course, that’s what every therapist should do—just getting to know the person and building trust. I think it’s always important for them to tell their story. So, I would have that person explain what happened, and then, on the high-end level, I like to find out what happened so I can identify where the trauma lives in their body. There is a book titled The Body Keeps Score.
Trauma actually gets lodged in your body because it permeates so deep into a person’s body and goes into their soul. So, by just giving them the space and power to speak about it, I become a container for them to empty out that information, and I support them through this process. I then help them to understand that they’re not at fault. The first thing I do is help them work through the guilt and shame of the situation because that (the guilt or shame) is typically what turns them inward, and they internalize the pain believing that they had something to do with it, that they were the cause of it. It’s really hard for people who have experienced, for instance, trafficking or domestic violence. They always believe that it’s something that they were doing that caused them to experience this traumatic experience. A teenager may think, “Maybe I shouldn’t have run away” or a woman maybe think, “Maybe I shouldn’t have made him mad.” So, I help them work through those thoughts. I use a lot of non-traditional therapy methods because, sometimes, people don’t have the words for how they are feeling or what they are thinking, so I help them to express them. I may find a song that they like. In my therapy sessions, we listen to a lot of songs together. I have my clients tell me what part of the song helps express what it is they are feeling. I also use art; I’m not a registered art therapist, but I use art as a healing tool. There are tons of exercises that can help a person express what they’re feeling without having to just talk; there are other outlets for that trauma.
Lisa C. Williams: “What is your goal when you work with someone?”
Shawn LaRé Brinkley: My goal in working with people who have experienced trauma is to help them find their voice again. To find their true identity, accept themselves, and find peace in their spirit. When they do this, their life can move forward. I don’t think a person who has experienced trauma is ever completely free of the trauma because it always there.
There are always going to be triggers that can bring up the feelings from the trauma, but they learn to manage their lives, manage their emotions, manage the triggers, and with therapy, they actually have a shot at having a productive life. After therapy, some of the negative habits, self-destructive behaviors that they may have been living with dissipate. They no longer engage in those behaviors; instead, they engage in behaviors that are life-affirming. They no longer live with the limiting beliefs that they had created based on what they thought of themselves from the trauma that they experienced. I help them develop coping tools.
Lisa C. Williams: “What’s your magic in helping people deal with trauma they have experienced?”
Shawn LaRé Brinkley: I think my magic is my personality because I’m warm and quirky. I also believe it’s because I am a trauma survivor myself.
When I was 25 years old, teaching dance to children and teaching aerobics to adults, I took a taxi to work, and as I was getting out, he took off—he dragged me two and a half feet in the taxi wheel and ran over the calf of my right leg. I was in traction for 30 days in the hospital, a wheelchair following that, and then crutches. I gained 100 pounds in about a year and a half. I went from being physically fit, active, a beauty queen, to being a hundred pounds heavier. The taxi driver was angry with me because, I didn’t tip him. He must have thought that I was a tourist or something because he took all kinds of crazy routes to get to my job. I had a big bag full of albums and costumes in it. As I got ready to get out, He said, “Nigga, Nigga, Nigga! No tip! Niggas in this neighborhood, all the time, no tip!” And I was like, “Okay, he’s crazy.” So, I stepped out of the cab, but while trying to get all of my bags, he took off.
Thankfully, some guys saw this happening, and they went chasing after the cab, beating on the car until the driver stopped. I was told this because I was unconscious. Then, next thing, I was in an ambulance and taken to the hospital.
