Life Coach Niki Brown Discusses How Life Coaching Can Help Women Of All Ages Prosper

                                                      Now you’re going on and getting your masters. You know what you find out after you get your masters? Well, where’s your experience? You’re like, “I don’t have any. I spent six years in school,” and they’re finding a saturated market. They’re finding a market that is very highly competitive than it was ten, fifteen years ago, and so they’re stuck, because they don’t know how to think outside the box.

                                                      I hope that answers the question. I think life coaching helps millennials think outside the box in advance, in advance before they even get in the box. It teaches them how not to probably even get in the box, if I could say that.

Alesha Thomas:                 I think you’re dead on. The answer was completely spot on, and I think it will help a lot of millennials, who are just feeling stuck, because, as you said, the job market is crazy right now. You go to school. You spend all this money on a degree that really can feel like a high school degree, and then you figure let me move on and go to grad school, and that’s more money and more time sucked up, and you’re left without experience. Yes. Getting a life coach, as you equated it to a marriage counselor, I think is essential for millennials, especially if they need help with what direction to go in their life.

Niki Brown:                            Absolutely.

Alesha Thomas:                 I really find that my generation is consumed with receiving instant gratification. Like we said, moving on right from college into grad school, that instant success, so be it from our job, school, our partner and friends, and what I’ve noticed is that we’ve become so consumed with technology especially, and instant success and greatness, that really our interpersonal relationships suffer.

                                                      What advice would you give to young adults as it relates to instant gratification, and especially interpersonal relationships? We see young adults and older, constantly on their phones, constantly involved in social media, so how can we really find the right adjustment to accommodate our future, because really social media is going in such an amazing place, but it takes away from, I think, interpersonal relationships and that one to one contact that we’ve quite often lost.

Niki Brown:                            You’re right. I think millennials are at an advantage and a disadvantage. The advantage is never before have we seen a faster paced society, where things are happening much more quicker. There is a level of instant gratification. It’s not that we’re looking for it. It’s actually real. We can send our resume in via online, and get a hit on it immediately, versus sending it in the mail, and waiting two weeks for somebody to get it and get back to us. I mean there is a level of instant gratification, and social media has helped to create that. I think really it’s not just saying, “Oh, we’re looking for instant gratification.” We actually have instant gratification.

                                                      As it relates to interpersonal relationships, it’s the same thing. When I was dating, I don’t want to date myself too much, but when I was dating, we didn’t have all this text messaging and all that. We wrote letters, and it took time. Now I’m getting to know people much faster than I would have ten, fifteen, twenty years ago, because of social media. It doesn’t take me six months to a year per se to really get to know someone. We’re talking a lot quicker. We’re talking a lot easier. Social media has bridged the gap in time, so things have sped up. There’s an acceleration.

                                                      The disadvantage is that intimacy and truly understanding someone’s heart and their mind, still happens at the same rate that it did twenty years ago, because people are people. We put forth our best foot in relationships, like we do in our interviews, we put on our interview face. People still do that. There’s no difference. Social media doesn’t change the process of people’s hearts, and people wanting to hide. It actually speeds that up even more.

                                                      Something my former pastor had told me years ago. He says, “You must summer and winter with someone,” and it just doesn’t go for interpersonal relationships. I think it can even go for your professional relationships. Summer and wintering basically means you have to give it time. You have to be in a place and in a season where you’ve seen it from all different seasons, and that summering … Summertime is when everything’s good. When you’re in the summertime of your job, everybody loves you. You’re the best thing, smoking. Why didn’t they hire you before? You think, “Oh, my God, I’m going to stay here forever.” Well, wait till the winter comes, and that’s when maybe you’re not doing such a great job, or you’re really starting to get to know this boss. You’re really starting to get to know your co-workers. You won’t know them like that until the winter season hits, and I think it’s the same thing with interpersonal relationships. Our social media doesn’t show us who people are through all the different seasons. It only comes through spending time with them. Really getting to know them.

                                                      The process of growth and change happens at the same rate that it did. An apple tree is going to grow at the same time it always does, and that’s how people are, too. People don’t change overnight. People don’t show you who they are overnight. Although I may be getting to know you, the details of you, I may still not get to know who you really are heart wise, mind wise. What you’re like in a crisis. What you’re like in the winter season of your life. Who is Alesha when she’s frustrated and stressed. Social media can’t show me that.

                                                      If I were to give advice to millennials, it is learn how to summer and winter with someone and someplace, before you make long term decisions about a place or a person.

Alesha Thomas

Alesha Thomas is a contributing writer for Business Innovators Magazine and Small Business Trendsetters, covering business leaders in lifestyle and personal development.