Hello and welcome. As we delve into the next segment of our Arise, Victorious Journaling Series, we once again are meeting with the inspirational Karyn Lynn Grant.
We have all experienced that sinking feeling when we make a mistake, thinking that it defines us and our abilities. What if we told you that the myth about making mistakes could be holding you back from reaching your full potential? Karyn Lynn Grant has a fresh perspective on this, and she is here to share her wisdom and guide us on a journey of reframing our perception of mistakes.
We will explore the definition of the word “mistake” and challenge the belief that it represents failure or incompetence. Karyn will encourage us to revisit, review, and reframe past decisions without judgment, but with compassion and empathy. By doing so, we might uncover the blessings in disguise that have made us wiser and more resilient.
Join us as we learn from Karyn Lynn Grant’s experiences and gain valuable insights on making choices, taking risks, and embracing the lessons life has to offer. Get ready to Arise, Victorious and be sure to have your journals ready!
Carol: Karyn, can you share with us your perspective on the myth surrounding making mistakes?
Karyn: Recently, as I was sleeping, the words came into my mind, “You have believed a big myth about making so-called “Mistakes.” Immediately, I remembered a Christmas present I received as an eight-year-old child. It was a giant eraser and on it in big bold black letters were written the words, “For My Big Mistakes.”
I remember thinking when I opened that gift, “I must have been given this because I must have made a lot of big mistakes. Enough that it would take a 9” x 4.5” inch eraser to erase them all. To a little child’s brain which was still forming perceptions about her ability to make good choices, a gift like this was not a good omen.
As I slept, I felt as though I was being tutored “You can ‘Arise, Victorious’ over this mentality too: the very belief that you make ‘big mistakes’ and that making ‘mistakes’ is a bad thing. You can eliminate all self-judgment about what you perceive about the word and begin reframing it right now.”
I tossed and turned for a moment, but felt an inkling of joyful delight passing through my mind as I could further explore this thought in my morning Divine Appointment with myself.
What do you consider the definition of the word, ‘MISTAKE’? This thought interrupted me as I was playing with my dogs the next morning. I always thought a ‘mistake’ was a stupid choice that you make that winds up making you feel miserable, guilty, remorseful, ashamed and worthy of blame, accusation and judgement. I answered as honestly as I could.
“Who taught you that your choices to explore your options in life could result in making you feel that you deserve to be miserable? You are not the victim of your circumstances! You are not the sum result of your errors in past judgment on what choices you had to make blindly about what was good, better or best for you!”
I thought for a minute more in a kind of a state of awe. The message proceeded from deep within: What do you consider your biggest mistake? The men you married and then had to go through an annulment for because you didn’t ask enough questions before you married each one in painful succession?
Carol: You were “digging” deep I can tell. Did the childhood perception of mistakes influence your view on making choices in life?
Karyn: That was point blank. Now I found myself thinking about individual choices I had made in my past, never intending that any one of those choices would lead me to unhappiness, sadness, sorrow or grief. I began reviewing my intentions for each one of the decisions I had made that suddenly began presenting themselves like slides in a slide presentation.
“You can revisit, review and reframe each and every decision that you have been led to believe was a ‘BIG MISTAKE’ in your life.”
Carol: Can you discuss the process of revisiting, reviewing, and reframing the decisions you believed to be mistakes?
Karyn: Yes, if you will take the time to do this, you may discover that each choice you made, revisited and reviewed without judgement but in a state of compassion and empathy, may reveal the blessings in disguise which have made you wiser in the process of being willing to risk and try new things. Some of those choices have led to many happy returns. Some of your choices have led to greater empathy, compassion and wisdom as you have learned what you really want more out of your life versus what you would like to experience less of!
I felt a magnetic attraction pulling my heart and mind to begin the process of revisiting, reviewing and reframing those decisions which I had made that I had tried to erase without ever giving them a second thought. Erasing a mistake without contemplating why you chose to make that particular decision causes you to refrain from learning the lessons that might enable you to choose differently going forward.
Carol: How do you suggest individuals refrain from erasing mistakes without learning from the lessons they offer?
Karyn: For me, a gentle reminder: I would urge you, spoke a whisper from deep within, “that you erase the word ‘mistake’ and adopt in its place, the word ‘EXPERIENCE.”
You have had many wonderful experiences in your life that have taught you many beautiful things! You have learned what you like and what you don’t like as much. You have learned what is good, better and best for you and your particular tastes in men, activities, educational pursuits, money-making ventures, friendships, values and more!
Many of these lessons learned have come by way of you making choices that led to your having many kinds of experiences. You no longer need to refer to any of those experiences as mistakes! You have been mistaken only about how you judge yourself and your life’s experiences!
Carol: What advice would you give to someone who struggles with self-judgment and blaming themselves for past choices?
Karyn: The best piece of advice is to continue extending yourself more empathy.
Extending empathy for yourself is the ability to willingly acknowledge that many of our experiences in life are made by trial and error. We usually all seek to make the best decisions we can when presented with an unknown outcome.
Carol: How can reframing mistakes as experiences contribute to personal growth and resilience?
Karyn: Gleaning the gift of wisdom from our experiences in life comes from a willingness to humble ourselves and review our actions as well as our intentions after a decision has played itself out. Even the smallest decision has a ripple effect. The consequences of our choices don’t just affect ourselves. They also affect others.
I believe we need to look deeper at how we choose to fulfill our needs by being mindful about how our choices will affect ourselves and others.
Carol: You are truly sharing some very helpful insights and wisdom Karyn. I thank you for that.
Can you speak to the importance of self-compassion and empathy when reframing past choices?
Karyn: Thank you, Carol and yes. Most of our decisions are made in a subconscious effort to meet a personal need. We can begin by asking ourselves, “are we fulfilling our needs in healthy or unhealthy ways?”
Carol: How can individuals apply the idea of arising victorious in their own lives and embrace their experiences as valuable lessons?
Karyn: We can take the time to access the situations in the past as well as those situations at hand by asking ourselves, “will the choice that I made (or I am about to make) bring about the desired result for myself as well as for those involved in the outcome of this choice?”
As we ponder our options with reframing our “big mistakes” into newfound wisdom, we can thwart many a mistake before we ever choose to willingly make it! But, remember, when you do make a mistake, quickly learn from your actions, forgive yourself quickly and count it all as added valuable “Experience!”
Carol: Below are indeed great Questions to Ponder and what a wonderful way to note your thoughts, feelings and aha moments than in your journals!
1. What choice have I made in my life that seemed to be a “big mistake”?
2. If I could allow myself to revisit that so-called “big mistake,” what is the lesson or blessing in disguise from having made that choice?
3. What is the wisdom I have gleaned from having gone through this ‘Experience’?
4. How can I show myself more empathy, compassion and kindness in relation to this ‘Experience’?
5. What good things came from going through this ‘Experience’?
6. How has this ‘Experience’ made me a more empathetic person to someone who might be going through the same thing?
7. What bit of wisdom could I share if someone asked for my help in a similar situation?
Carol: As always, if you’d like to reach Karyn or learn more:
To reach Karyn:
Karyn@joycoachingamerica.com
http://www.joycoachingamerica.com
Be sure to check Karyn’s Podcasts and newly released book on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Books-Karyn-Lynn-Grant/s?rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3AKaryn+Lynn+Grant
