Once again, I had the pleasure of meeting with Karyn Lynn Grant, owner of Joy Coaching America and The Cherishing Place. It was our time to visit and begin the next of our 12 month series for The Year of Joy: Pure Love in the Mourning.
Each time we have spoken has shed insights, pearls of wisdom and a sense of interconnectedness that have been experienced by our readers and myself.
I really believe that anyone who has experienced any loss, heartbreak, relationship ups and downs and “life” will enjoy and benefit from “listening” to Karyn’s and my conversation.
Happy February and Happy Valentine’s Day to those who celebrate the loves in our lives.
I asked Karyn, before we started our interview, if she would, via video, share some heartfelt words and insights that would help all of us find “Love in the Mourning.” Here is Karyn and what a beautiful message of love and inspiration. Enjoy!
Carol: smiling Thank you so much for that Karyn. It amazes me how easily and naturally you just did that.
Carol: Now, on with our discussion on Love in the Mourning.
Karyn, I was thinking about what we would cover in this conversation, based on feelings of both hope and sadness, as I read the title, I was curious as to what you would share to help many who have suffered, as we all have, from the varying losses we can experience in life and love. How you’d guide us to find joy in those times of mourning and how we’d find joy within them or help us get through them, especially during a month where so much commercialism exists around those in love or who have loved ones to share love with. I am ready to delve right in. Is that good with you?
Karyn: Carol, I agree. It’s that wonderfully romantic time of the year when one loves to be cherished with chocolates and flowers, hugs and kisses; wrapped in the euphoria of being, feeling and falling…deeper in love!”
Why then do I focus my comments on a world reeling in heartbreak from fairytale love stories run amuck and “happily-ever-afters” dashed on the rocks? What is happening in our fast paced, “too-busy-for-a-relationship” life-styles that is causing tender hearts to feel isolated, disconnected, frustrated, insecure and ultimately, lonely?
I think of my beautiful 36 year old daughter who asks me questions like: “Mom, do you think I will just have to settle for a guy that looks at sexually explicit material regardless of us being involved? Every guy I date eventually seems to admit to that!” and “Mom, I’ve gone on several dates from dating sites this week. Dating is a waste of time, Mom…”
In my home based practice, “The Cherishing Place,” my heart has been drawn to the issue of “Mending Broken Hearts with the Healing Arts.” I tackle this specific concern by urging my clients, primarily women, to spend more quality time in self-nurturing one’s own heart, healing from past heartaches and heartbreaks, rebuilding one’s own sense of inner peace, confidence, security as well as a sense of one’s own worth and value. By becoming our very own best friend, our sense of personal integrity and esteem is made whole; and becomes ready to flourish, simply by falling in love with ourselves and life itself!
Carol: You have touched on many things, some of which I can say, took much in “the school of hard knocks” to learn. Falling in love with ourselves and life; rebuilding confidence, self-nurturing and quality time – all potent and some of which I can imagine many, including men, experience or have worked on and through or who are still in the process of doing so.
Karyn: I feel that loving and nurturing oneself is a part of a “Pure Love Practice” by making a commitment to spend time romancing ourselves with uplifting music, the practice of prayer, breathing in beautiful aromas lilting through the atmospheres of our homes, taking long sudsy bubble baths with tea lights and rose petals, having heart to heart talks with dear friends, taking time out for deep meditation, writing love letters to God and thank you notes of appreciation and gratitude to our cherished friends and family (including ourselves) as well as buying ourselves our favorite chocolates and sharing them with a best friend!
Carol: Mmm, nicely stated. Every one of those instilled feelings and warm emotions and some very nice memories. I trust the same for our readers or, at least, some very good ideas.
What turned your heart to creating a “Pure Love Practice” for yourself?
Karyn: As a little girl, I grew up listening to phonographs playing “Someday My Prince Will Come” and singing along at the top of my lungs. By age four, I knew all the lyrics by heart! Later on, when I began to date, I saw men through rose-colored glasses, viewing every man I ever fell in love with as a version of a handsome “Prince Charming.”
But, I didn’t take enough time to ask enough questions, perhaps dreaming that one “knight-enlightening kiss” was the sure way to tell if this guy was right for me. I fell “in love” with the idea of being “in love” and didn’t take the time to nurture a relationship before I fell madly right back out of love. I got married and divorced as many times as Elizabeth Taylor and Zsa Zsa Gabor, never taking the time to mend my own broken heart in-between episodes of perpetually rebounding love addictions.
Finally, my daughter woke me up saying, “Mom, this guy is NOT right for you! Can’t you see it? You’re crying ALL the time! What on earth do you see in him!?” In between sniffles I muttered, “He buys me roses and Sees Chocolates!” My daughter’s jaw dropped as she exclaimed, “MOM! Buy your own SEES Chocolates!” That’s all it took to wake me up from my proverbial fairytale dream of believing it took someone outside of myself to nurture me, to flatter me, to baby me, to cherish me, to adore me and to make me feel loved and loveable!